Positive Words

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."—Ephesians 4:29 (Context)

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I wish people, Christians especially but others, too, would think about this as a guideline to their communication, both oral and written. Crudity, hatred, condescension, anger, lies, and so much more befoul the air and Internet and, this is important, ACCOMPLISH NOTHING GOOD! I doubt I'm unique in NEVER being inspired or motivated to agree with all that negativity. Generally people will not be bullied into ideas they oppose, even if they may ultimately be good or worthwhile. Aggressive negativity usually triggers angry reactions, determined opposition, a defensive siege mentality, and not reflective consideration! If a person seriously wants to win people to their perspective, they need to build up and not tear down in a manner that is appealing and attractive.

Now James offers a stern warning:

For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so (James 3:7-10).

For Christians, whom Jesus commands to love each other as he loves us (John 13:34-35) and who identified the greatest command to be loving God with our whole being and loving our neighbors as ourselves, the poison of a tongue spewing evil at those who share the blessing of being God's image-bearers is unacceptable. Judging and speaking condemnation (cursing) is God's prerogative and his alone. Furthermore, verbal nastiness is repellent while kind and thoughtful words are attractive, not merely to the speaker but to the Lord and Savior whose name we bear.

Hisplan for us is simple and unspeakably beautiful:

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God (Colossians 3:12-16).

I could write pages and pages expounding passage; it warrants memorization and calling to mind when angry or hateful words are on our lips. We should know that the ultimate solution to the world's and the nation's problems as well as every personal problem can be found in Jesus by those who trust him, have experienced his forgiveness and regeneration, and may be filled with his wisdom, truth, and compassion. Unfortunately we fail to impress them with all that goodness when we act and speak little better than they do.

To choose one part of this is not to disparage the rest, but I want to emphasize this: “...and let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” Combine this encouragement with Jesus' word in Luke 6:45:

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

If Christ's peace rules a person's heart, then they will speak peace, and not just personal peace, serenity, and tranquility, but also the peace of reconciliation, relational peace, the resolution of disagreement, and the resolving of conflict, just the opposite of most of what is happening today.

So how well are you doing this: building up, blessing with your speech, teaching and admonishing others in wisdom, speaking peace, and singing godly songs? I think I do fairly well. I do get frustrated with other drivers, and I sometimes have words for them that they never hear, spoken inside my van. Even there, however, I try to be careful. Consider this:

But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ (like maybe “Jerk” or worse!) is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell (Mathew 5:22).

I know this warning is for expressing our anger directly to another person, but I find myself being careful, even inside my car with windows up, calling people, doing obviously careless, unwise, and stupid things, drivers, walkers, bikers, and so on, who endanger themselves and others (including me) fools! I pray often for all this because I never ever want to be involved with a person's death or serious injury, so I feel strongly about them being careless and unthinking. Nevertheless, even in my car, I'm careful what I say. I don't want to “give the devil an opportunity”. I'd like to claim it is “righteous anger” without that persistently nagging suspicion to the contrary.

My friend, please do not dismiss this. Hostile negativity is destructive, and angry, hateful rhetoric has grown to become the norm. I refuse to support, vote for, or be turned from what I believe to be true or wise by any leader, politician, or celebrity, and you should, too. They must be refuted with calm and reasoned wisdom. Their disrespect for those who dare to disagree leads some of them to suggest action to humiliate, marginalize, and, if necessary, remove them...us. We should be praying continuously for their hearts to be broken and their minds changed, at least as regards their speech and methods, but we must do so patiently, diligently, but kindly, with a “turn the other cheek” attitude. In fact, that was precisely Jesus' point, after saying this, he added: “I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.”

These are uneasy days for our nation and the Church. The priority is obvious, to win our neighbors, friends, families, co-workers, and even, or perhaps especially, those we see as enemies or adversaries to salvation and faith in Jesus Christ. We don't need anything special beyond the love and truth God has given us. I'm also concerned for this great nation¹ where Biblical truth has been so profoundly influential, starting with the very idea of freedom. Again the priority is to win them over to ideas we can easily support and discuss because they pretty much came from the same place. Regardless of the topic or concern, the manner and content of our communication must be what the Bible teaches—kind, loving, forgiving, peaceful, wise, patient, humble, wholesome, edifying (building up, not tearing down), and filled with blessing. Accompanied by much prayer, our positive, constructive, encouraging communication has the potential to change our families, our communities, our nation, and our world.

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1I hope you are not one of those standing apart or worse attacking the lost with the notion that the Lord's return will end all this trouble. It may, but even if the ship is sinking, we have a holy obligation to bail water and rescue those in danger.